Thursday, July 28, 2005


Today was a good day. There was a much needed break in Aimee's 2 day crying spell. I am learning that in life it is best to enjoy each moment as it comes. I knew that her painful fussy cries couldn't last forever, just as well as I know that today's peace may only be a merciful break to allow me to regroup. Either way, I'll take it all as it comes.

Becoming Aimee's mother has really changed my world. Although since she came into my life, I havn't had the mental or physical fortitude to care for her, try to care for myself, say "hello" to my husband every once in a while, AND ponder the meaning of this new wonderful life. But in the precious seconds between trying to remember the words to lullibies, figuring out how to be a good mom, and deciding whether using the bathroom is worth the 2 minutes that she will scream her head off because I put her down... it is in those few short moments that I think that there is great wonder in this new life, that I need to stop living my life for next week and live in the now.

Tonight, while I sat with her in the dark, I could only focus on her. Her sweet breath, her chunky arms and legs, her round belly, and the most beautiful face I've ever seen. It was magic. The bible verse that says that we are created in God's image has new meaning for me. I clearly see God reflected in her. I want to discover this new world and my place in it.