Friday, December 28, 2007
Daniel slept in his big crib last night and today is his second night sleeping in his own room. I didn't want to take him out of his little basinette. I don't want him to be 20 feet away instead of 5 feet away.
Aimee has figured out that my name is not just "Mommy", so sometimes she calls me "Wizzy" if I don't respond right away to "Mommy". I know I should correct her, but it's just so darn cute to hear her say "Wizzy! Where are you?" She also saw an Elmo's World episode about Helping, so now when she gets herself in precarious situations, instead of crying she calls out, "Heyelp! Heyelp!". She tested it out first by throwing herself on the floor to see if I'd come and help her up.
Ever since helping me bake Christmas cookies, she wants to help prepare every meal. Today she went to the pantry and took out a can of soup and a package of tic tacs and said, "I help cooking today mommy."
Daniel is amazed by his new mobile that projects really cool patterns and plays really sweet, non annoying music that he got for Christmas, I think it's pretty cool too.
Aimee was really excited about opening presents this year and has been spending the day playing with new toys. She puts on all 152 bracelets that my mom got her on one arm, picks up a hammer from a toy tool set that both She and Daniel got from the inlaws, and walks around the house hammering everything from the wall, to the oven, to the tables. She is really excited to go to the Dells this weekend and keeps saying, "Going Swimming after tomorrow".
Sunday, December 16, 2007
It was a crazy busy weekend, but it was really great. Daniel played the role of Baby Jesus and Aimee was a Giraffe in the manger where Jesus was born. We didn't think Aimee would go through with being up on stage in front of 200 people, but she did, and she did it with flair. Brian and I are those geeky annoying parents that took 100 pictures and video of it all, then came home and watched the video over and over again, and plan to show it to everyone that comes over.
Pics (and more boasting ) are to come.
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Aimee had a very brief meltdown involving her signature screaming. If you aren't lucky enough to have experienced it, it is blood curdling and you would think that it could cause an earthquake. My sister Stephanie says that when she screams like that in public, people probably think that she has a terrible home life.
I've decided that her meltdown was because the last time we went to the doctor, both her and Daniel got shots and Daniel cried (alot), so she probably thought I was going to be getting a shot too. Once she calmed down, she sat next to me while I got my braces worked on, rubbing my leg and comforting me telling me "It's ok, Mommy. Your fine. It's ok".
The staff in the treatment area could not have been more gracious and understanding, so when I went to schedule my next appointment, I was caught off gaurd by the receptionist commenting on Aimee's screaming and then saying, "Oh, it sounds like you need the Super Nanny." My response was, "I'm sorry, what did you say?" She confirmed what I heard with "Yeah, it sounds like you need Super Nanny." I was really surprised that someone her age (mid 30's) could be so rude and all I could really think to say was, "Um. No not really. I don't think we are there yet."
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
The Topic? How to be happy and married. No, not how to be happily married. How to be happy and married.
I used to think that since I found a wonderful husband, a man who actually cares about the health of our relationship, who is willing to do everything it takes to make it work, a man whose first priority is the emotional satisfaction and well being of our family, that we would never have to struggle with this topic. I used to think that being with Brian would be enough to make me be a happy person, and that I would make him happy in return. However, the reality of where we are in life, the gravity of the responsibilities, the ordering of priorities, the routine of our days which have been established for us; those things that we cannot change if we want stability and security for our children, they have started to inch out youthful energy and happiness. A friend of mine called it the "loss of possibility", a mourning for the road not taken, those intersections in life that we will probably not cross again for a very long time, if ever.
When I first found out I was pregnant with Aimee, I asked several women that I admire what was the key to being a happy mother. All of them said that the key was to have a life (or interests) outside of the home. That answer seemed contradictory to me. To be a happy mother, you have to do things that are not mom related? Now it makes perfect sense. That answer can apply to any life situation really. To be a happy executive, you have to have interests outside of work. To be a happy retiree, you have to have activities besides being retired.
The challenge is in making the time and in creating the energy to do one more thing when it seems impossible to do that, it is making the effort to reach out to friends and coming up with topics of conversation that don't include what is going in with your kids or home or job or whatever consumes 99% of your time. Creating new experiences, visiting new places, getting to know new people; those are the things that help keep your individual self alive.
Am I unhappy? No. However, there are areas of my life that I am not satisfied with. I know what they are. I am doing something about it. It would be easier to just accept my situation as permanent and it takes energy to make changes happen, but making those changes creates an excitement in me for the possibilities that I am creating. Seeing those changes having an effect energizes me to continue.
Keeping a sense of individuality, nurturing a growing spiritual and thought life, growing in love and respect for my husband, working toward a tangible personal goal, watching in wonder as my children begin to do things like smile or speak in complete sentences; those are my lifelines to happiness.
I'm lucky to have a great husband, but I see that being a great ME is just as important.
Do you have any words of wisdom? What makes you happy? Feel free to share in the comments section.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
I think I may be addicted to dark chocolate. and nutella on saltine crackers. with milk.
I feel like I'm being a better mom when I give Aimee lots of time-outs.
I havn't gone to the gym to work out yet, or sat through an entire church service because I'm being held hostage by my 2 year old who refuses to be in a daycare/sunday school class without crying like someone took her candy.
I hate buying gifts for people just because they bought me something. I want to give from the heart, not out of obligation.
My children are overwhelmingly cute...and sometimes I think people are surprised by that, but I'm not. Does that make me vain?
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
I want Aimee to be a two marshmallow girl. Wish us luck.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Advantage: Aimee is too cute when she comforts him with her limited vocabulary.
Disadvantage: In her baby vocabulary she'll tell me "No hold baby Daniel. Baby Daniel crib. Carry me mommy."
Disadvantage: I thought it would be tacky to have another babyshower, leaving us scrambling at the last minute for baby boy clothes and other gender sensitive items.
Advantage: Lots of friends passing down their almost new boys clothes to us.
Advantage: We are still young and energetic enough to deal with two kids under the age of 3.
Disadvantage: We are the only 30 year olds we know that like to go to bed before 8:30 pm.
Advantage: Everyone is in diapers.
Disadvantage: Everyone is in diapers.
Advantage: A lot of Aimee's toys are still new enough and in good enough condition for Daniel to use.
Disadvantage: Daily outings to the library, zoo, and children's museum have pretty much stopped.
Advantage: Several people I used to call "acquaintances" have become "good friends", since they have been a great deal of support to me.
Most people that I know, even the ones that know how bad some of our bad days have been, are all marveling at how well I'm doing. They comment that they can't believe that my house is clean, that I'm making home cooked meals, and that I try to look put togather, even when I spend the day in the clothes I slept in.
I'm not saying that this transition from one child to two has not been hard. It's been really hard. But even though we've had some rough moments, I can't stop thinking about how incredibly blessed we are, to have this beautiful child become part of our family. He is truly beautiful. He is. And even though a lot of his clothes and all of his toys have been handed down to him, my love for him is not a hand me down. It is fresh and new, created in a space in my heart that belongs only to him. And if anyone dares tell me that I had him too soon, or that I should have waited another year, they are ignorant fools, because my baby Daniel didn't come one moment too soon. I couldn't have waited another minute for him.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Monday, September 19, 2005
Current state of affairs
My brain has been kinda mushy lately. It seems like lately I don't have much energy for introspection or even finishing complex thoughts or conversations with myself. More than anything, I'm trying to figure out how my mom managed to raise the 3 of us, work from 8-4 (more like 6:30-5 with the commute), make meals from scratch EVERY DAY, keep the house spotlessly clean, earn extra cash by supplying area restaurants and stores with my grandfathers famous Chorizo, keep us in check, and still find time to hand wash our whites. I'm exhausted just WRITING about it. I'm appreciating her more and more each day.
1. How I was raised.
2. Twice a year visits to Mexico.
3. Wanting to move to JPUSA. Meeting Brian because of it. Not moving to JPUSA because of Brian.
4. Healthy Happy Kids.
5. Taking Aimee to the park while a friend babysat Daniel on the last nice day we had this week.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Friday, November 02, 2007
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
1. Daniel's cold.
2. Perfecting the Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookie receipe I got online.
3. Getting my stuff togather to go back to school.
4. Missing Stephanie
5. Getting some sleep.
6. Being jealous of all the fun autumn activities Brian and Aimee are doing.
7. Not being ready for cold weather.
8. Losing weight. (Kind of hard when I'm trying to perfect a cookie receipe.)
9. How much I love the Baby Bear and Zoe characters on Sesame Street.
10. Keeping Aimee from watching Wiggles DVD's all day long. .
Monday, October 29, 2007
It's almost a week later, and his nose is still a bit stuffy, but thank God, no fevers or worsening symptoms.
I feel terrible for having taken him out and now I've decided to barracade us in the house for the next few weeks. No outings. No nonfamily visitors.
Monday, October 22, 2007
I'm trying to get back into the swing of things, especially for Aimee. Aimee needs to leave the house just as much as I do, our sanity depends on our fun outings. Today, I decided that we'd go for a Pony Ride to Sonny Acres with my mom, who is staying with us for a few days. It is my policy to not tell Aimee where we are going until we are almost there. I don't want her to be dissapointed if we have to turn around or cancel for whatever reason. Too many times where my dad SWORE up and down that we were going to Six Flags Great America, when in reality we were just going to buy lottery tickets I guess. I checked the weather several times to make sure that it would be a good day. So today, I broke my policy and out of desperation, to get her to take a nap, I told her that if she napped we'd go ride horsies after she woke up. The day was beautiful at 11 am. It was Sunny and almost warm.
Then she woke up from her nap. "GOING TO RIDE HORSIES!", were the first words she said when she woke up. Then I realized that the sunny sky was now overcast, and the almost warm air turned cold, and it was sprinkling rain. Crap. Now what? So I told her we were going to ride the pretend horsies at the mall. All she heard was "Horsies". Now I should probably tell you that last week, on a perfect day, her Grandma Carol and Aunt Mona took us to Sonny Acres and she indeed rode the Horsies and she LOVED every second of it. So I was a little more than nervous that she would freak out when she realized that we were going to ride fiberglass horsies and not the real thing.
So off to the mall we went. We headed straight for the Carusel in the center of the mall, and she LOVED it. She enjoyed it so much she actually made a scene and the people around us, including the operator, couldn't help but smile every time we came around.
The second part of our trip was not as successful. My mom was dealing with a mini emergency, while Aimee decided that today would be the perfect day to become "That Kid" in the play area that bullies a smaller kid. Then the baby started crying and rather than nurse in the middle of the mall, or spent an hour getting him to drink a bottle, I decided to go home. Aimee protested until we reached the door of the mall. I really tried to hold it togather, and my mom was really supportive, but I realize that this going out with TWO kids deal is a lot harder than I thought it would be.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
I will keep growing.
I will not become content to live in stagnation,
not moving forward
I will acknowledge my flaws.
I will say I'm sorry.
I will seek healing for that which is wrong in me.
I will not allow my good intentions
to become abstract concepts
that evaporate in the wind.
Because you are worthy.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Before I had Daniel, I stayed up at night worrying about how I'd make it through the 3 week recovery period if I had a c-section. That was a breeze. My mom was here, when she wasn't here, my in-laws came over. I physically recovered rather quickly, and it wasn't anywhere near as difficult as it was when I had Aimee.
I've had 2 hours of sleep tonight. Brian's alarm is going off, and I'll just wait for him to go to work to go to sleep. Aimee will be up 2-3 hours after that. I did not, in any way, anticipate how incredibly difficult these short period of my life would be. I am hopeful that in 3 more weeks, Daniel will start to sleep longer through the night (Aimee started sleeping through the night at 6 weeks old). Until then, I am going to use prayer to help me get through the days, because taking care of a demanding 2 year old can be a real test of will and perserverance on 4 hours of sleep that were attained an hour at a time.
Also...I've decided to give into the technological revolution and I'm going to save up for an Ipod. I'll probably get a nano since I don't think I'll need to store 10,000 songs in my lifetime. Does anyone know if you can use a dock thingy with a nano?
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Monday, October 01, 2007
I havn't been blogging or emailing much for obvious reasons, but I thought I'd take a few minutes to answer some common questions.
1. How is Aimee?
Aimee is doing wonderfully. Better than we could have hoped for, and we owe that to her grandparents. She has had nonstop attention from her Abuela who stayed with us almost an entire week and is coming to stay with us for another week after a brief break to go home and take care of some business. Her Grandma and Grandpa W have paid visits almost every day, bringing little gifts for her each time. She's also had tons of quality time with Brian, who has made sure to take her on fun "Daddy/Daughter Dates" at least every other day.
2. Is Aimee jealous?
No. She had a few minor incidents of jealously, but no blowouts or tantrums. Lately, my biggest problem is that she wants to hold Daniel when I am going to feed him. When visitors arrive to the house, she runs over to Daniel and proudly announces to the visitor that it's "Baby DANIEL!"
3. How are you feeling?
I am feeling ok. He was born via C-section. I've been following the Dr's orders and I've been resting, eating well, and taking my pain meds.
4. Does he cry a lot?
He hardly cries or makes any noise at all. Stephanie says that he takes after Brian, and Aimee, Ms. Drama queen, takes after our side of the family.
That's about all I have for now. Everything is going really well. We are so in love with our little guy and so thankful for his health, for a good delivery, and that God saw us worthy of giving us another child. We are also humbled and grateful for everyone's thoughtfulness and generousity. Four of our neighbors, most of whom we hardly know, have come by to bring us dinner, complete with chocolately desserts! Our church friends have come by also bringing food and gifts, we've received lovely cards and emails, and our families have made sacrifices to be at our side and to support us. We are humbled and grateful. Thank you.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
The baby's clothes are neatly tucked in the dresser drawers.
We're fully stocked on diapers and wipes.
Bottles and accessories are in a bin on the counter.
We've read "I'm a Big Sister" to Aimee about 250 times.
The fridge and freezer have been cleaned out, organized, and restocked.
My bag is packed.
We can't wait to meet our little guy.
And now we wait...
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
1. No baby yet. As of tomorrow, I will be considered full term and if the little guy doesn't want to come into the world in the next two weeks, I'll be having another C-Section. (Please pray that I don't need another C-Section!....No seriously, Stop reading and pray right now! Thanks).
2. Our friends that were living with us for the past month (See her link under "Erica") moved out yesterday. We really miss them, but are SOO happy and excited for what the future holds for them.
3. I was more tired today than I have been in years. No joke.
4. I ate a whole bag of chocolate covered pretzels in like 3 days.
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
For the 2nd night in a row, it's 4 am and I've already been awake for an hour. Wide awake. My friend's husband and I were commenting that we think there might be a sleep vampire in the house, since he's been having trouble sleeping too, except on the nights that I'm awake all night he sleeps well and vice-versa.
Not much more to say except that If I weren't so lazy, I'd get up and go to McDonalds for a cheeseburger or to Krispy Kreme for a donut. (You hear that my dear Mother-In-Law and Uncle Ray? How about stopping at Krispy Kreme on your way over later on today? I like raspberry filled and the regular glazed).
Brian's alarm is about to go off. I'm going to go make sure he get's up for work on time and doesn't let the alarm wake everyone else in the house up.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Last week the class was taught by some parents that I really like and respect, but use a parenting philosophy that I would never use. Ever. But it works for them.
My bad parent moment came toward the end of church, when they called us to go pick Aimee up because had been crying on and off the entire time. I was told that she was crying because she was mad.
"Well, I think she just had a little bit of anxiety about us leaving her. She's done really well the past 2 Sundays. I'm surprised she didn't do well this week." was my reply.
"You should really look into taking the class that teaches the parenting method we use. It's done wonders for our family." she said.
"Ok. Thanks for keeping her as long as you did. I appreciate it. See you later!" I said.
Then, then it happened. Aimee asked me for a snack....and she said "Please".
WHAT? OUTRAGE! I've never taught her to say "Please"! She says "Thank You" all day long, but NEVER please.
"Aimee, you say "Please" when Mommy teaches you to say it. For now, you can demand what you want. Next week, we'll learn how to say "Please ok?".
She smiled sweetly after I gave her a mini doughnut. "Thank you, Mommy! MORE!"
Friday, August 17, 2007
Today they were playing "Coffee shop" with Aimee's Disney Princess Kitchen. Judah turned the pretend burners on to warm up the pretend coffee that Remmy had just purchased. Aimee's hand touched the burner and Judah freaked out because he didn't want her to get burned.
For Aimee, Christmas has come early in the form of their 3 year old son, Judah, also known as the household hero and Aimee's knight in shining armour. He regularly displays his compassion for her when she is being punished in time out by sneaking her toys, letting her wear his super hero helmet (one of his most dearly loved possessions), and anxiously waiting for me to take her out of time out, even when she was put in there for violations against HIM, like hitting or snatching a toy out of his hand.
Judah has been added to her list of things to thank God for every night, right along with Elmo, the Wiggles, and her baby doll. He is the first person she asks for when she wakes up in the morning, and refuses to take a nap or go to bed without hugging him first.
However, we are having some adjustment issues. She loves playing with him, but is having a hard time sharing toys. She loves to watch videos with him, but don't let him cuddle up next to me or hold my hand, because that is just crossing the line. I've also noticed that the physical manifestations of her anger (don't know where she got THAT from) are NOT CUTE when she's taking them out on other children. This is providing me with the opportunity to prepare her what life will be like for her with a little brother. Judah has been a merciful and patient participant, not letting his 20 lb advantage in size or year and a half age difference have any effect on the gentleness and kindness of his attitude toward her.
As for what life is like with the sudden doubling of our household occupancy, I have to say that it's been like Jesus and the 5 loaves of bread and 2 fishes. Our small little house has not felt crowded, there hasn't been a shortage of Nutella or cookies, and miracles of all miracles...there have been no bathroom conflicts!
Saturday, August 11, 2007
- Aimee's random tantrums outside grocery stores.
- Her throwing full cups of juice and the sippy top breaking away from the bottom of the cup, right after I spent hours mopping all the floors in the house.
- Her obsesssion with The Wiggles.
- Trying to get her out of her "pretty" pajamas in the morning. She will hold her arms down and in her annoyed voice yell "PRETTY!".
- The never ending requests she yells from her crib at bedtime, and that sometimes they are valid and other times just ploys to get me back in the room. "Diaper, Mommy!", "Juice!", "Song, Mommy!", "Read to you!", "Baby, Blankie".
Oh So Tender:
- When she wakes up from her nap and asks for Grapes. "Greats?"
- The sympathtic "Ohhhh...it's ok" she gives with her little head tilted to the side whenever one of her friends cries or has a tantrum.
- When she gets into her white car and pretends to go somewhere. "Mommy! Bye-Bye! Store! Be back!" and how she frantically looks for her purse and keys before she leaves.
- Her excitement when she gets to wear a new outfit and how she'll run into the room to show whoever hasn't seen her yet.
- She loves to help me with laundry.
- When she sits her baby down in the toy high chair, goes to the pantry for a packet of oatmeal and pretends to feed it to her, than does a complete diaper change along with declarations that her baby went "yucky poo-poo", or "Wow!" at how full the diaper is.
- That she loves music so much that at my mom's church she started singing made up baby words to the communion song David played and made do the "I'm trying to control myself silent laugh" that caused me to get dirty looks from a few people.
- When she fed Remmy a chicken nugget after I told her to stop it and just looked at me with her big brown eyes and very matter of factly said, "Mommy, I LOVE Remmy".
- When she takes one of her bedtime books and starts to read it to me.
Friday, August 10, 2007
Yesterday's trip to the fancy Dominick's yielded the following:
2 Containers of Welch's Passion Fruit Juice, God's gift to mankind in hot humid weather.
2 Packages of cookies, Matt's Peanut Butter and ghetto chocolate chip.
1 Fried Chicken Lunch Special drenched in bright orange hot sauce. This is some hard to get stuff, it's made by the Veterans group in the South Side of Chicago. It can only be purchased by the gallon at the corner grocery stores, or by the "cent's worth" when you buy a bag of chips. "Can I have 15 cents worth of hot sauce on my little 25 cent bag of chips?"
3 containers of Cherry Yogurt
I've also gotten up in the middle of the night for Milk and Cookies, English Muffins slathered in Nutella, and bowls of cereal with lots and lots of strawberries.
Lunch this week has included California Rolls, Fried Chicken, Pozole, and Sweet and Sour chicken covered in Hot mustard.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
I've always loved libraries. When I was in elementary school, I read every single book in the 5th grade list of the extracurricular reading program. The school offered incentives for reading; a book marker for reading 2 books, a cool pencil set for 4, a McDonald's gift certificate for 10, you get the picture. By springtime, I had read so many books that I earned every single prize on the list and the librarians had to come up with other stuff to give me. I would tell my classmates that I read for the prizes, but the truth is that I could care less about them, I just loved to read. One of the first devastating moments in my school life happened when my sister Yoli got mad at me and ripped a library book that I had checked out to shreds. She didn't just rip it, she individually tore sheets out then ripped the sheet into 5 or 6 squares. I remember frantically searching the house for tape, only finding masking tape, and then carefully putting each page back together with tiny strips of masking tape. I walked into that library with such shame that I could barely look the librarians in the face. I held back the tears as I waited for them to say that I would be losing my library privileges, and the tears poured out when they simply said it was ok.
In Middle school I discovered the local library. It was one of the only places that my parents allowed me to go to by myself. I loved spending hours looking for biographies, classics, and all the teen magazines.
In High school I was pretty busy having a social life and reading books for my advanced English classes to go to the library anymore. In college, the study lounges became one of my academic downfalls. The Liberal Arts library was notorious for being a hot spot to meet and hang out with friends. If it hadn't been for hanging out with the Engineering students and making the liberal arts library off limits, I would have flunked out instead of deciding to just not go back.
A few months ago, I decided to take Aimee to our local library. I am so glad that I did. The free toddler class they offer is AMAZING and Aimee loves it. After the class, she loves picking the books she wants me to read to her, arranging them on the toddler sized tables, and then putting them on a toddler sized shelf when she's done. She can't wait to visit the pet mice and corrects any child who, after seeing the new Disney movie Ratatouille, calls them rats. "MICE! MICE! MOUSE!" she'll get up in their face and yell until the kids either walk away or stop calling them names that start with the word "rat"...."Ratatouille, Ratfink, Ratilda".
Their selection of kids music CD's is pretty good and it's really nice to check them out and then RETURN THEM. Same goes for their Video/DVD collection. I almost thought about getting rid of our VCR until I realized how impossible it is to get a hold of a Wiggles DVD at the library, videos are a little more available, but according to the librarian, they are so popular that unless you reserve a particular Wiggles anything, you almost have to take it off of the shelving cart to get it before everyone else does.
We went to the library today for a little while and judging by the shriek of joy Aimee let out when she saw where we were going, it looks like she may have a little bit of nerd in her too.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
None of these gimmicks have really gotten my attention enough to make me want to go there on a regular basis because I know that I'll get a lot more groceries for my buck at the ethnic grocery store than I ever will at Dominick's. Not even the outrageously low price of $1.99 for Rainier cherries (they usually run for 6-7$ a pound) or the rock bottom offer of 4 huge boxes of my favorite breakfast cereals for $6 was enough to turn me into a fan. But earlier this week they got me. An emergency doughnut craving that I had been fighting for days made me stop in at the store for 1 or 2 of their bakery doughnuts and what did I find? Small cute pink pastry boxes for all to pack their bakery items in. No extra charge, free for everyone.
Dang you DOMINICK'S! YOU GOT ME!
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Whenever I cook, I sit Aimee down on the counter. Usually she watches me while she counts out the fake cookies into her blue cookie jar, or she stacks the cups or tupperwear in the drain. She likes to be my little taster as I chop up the veggies or make sure the spices are right in the chili.
Now, my daughter may LOOK Latina. But yesterday she proved, once again, that she can be STRAIGHT UP POLISH. I chopped up an entire onion and green pepper and put them side by side in a bowl while I got everything else ready for the chili, and the little girl decided to sample the raw onion. I stood by and watched her reaction, thinking that I'd get to see her make a funny face, or that she'd spit it out, or that her eyes would water. What did my daughter do? She reached into the bowl and repeatedly ate FIST FULLS of onion and green pepper until I took it away. I'm not kidding people. She actually made a small dent in the bowl before I took it away and she CRIED and threw blueberries at me when I offered her those instead.
At night when Brian and I went to change her diaper we caught a face full of onion breath. Po-lock.
Changes are coming soon and I am trying to hold on to now as if my life depended on it. In just nine more weeks, little baby brother will be here, and if he arrives by c-section (which is 85% sure to happen) I will be unable to do much for at least 3 weeks. I have decided that I am going to do as many activities and go on as many outings with Aimee as I possibly can. The times that I am too exhausted to do anything are spent on the couch watching Wiggles movies over and over again. I'll endure the bad special effects and annoyingly catchy songs if it means that I can get a whole half hour of cuddle time with her.
At the same time, Brian and I have been feeling like it's time to look for a new church. We've been dealing with these feelings for over a year now, for several months we secretly felt the same way and didn't know it. We've have taken this past year to really examine why we are both experiencing this impulse. We've come to the following conclusion: We have experienced tremendous spiritual and personal growth during the 6 years that we've been at Life Church. In Christian circles, we call that fruit. The problem is that we havn't seen much fruit outside of our own lives, in other words, we havn't made an impact on anyone's life during our time there, which is important in Christian life. We are the first to admit that maybe we didn't put in the effort that we should have. We could have volunteered to do more things, but the truth is that we have never really felt really passionate about serving there. Our hearts are really in our neighborhood and in the nearby Latino community. It's always been my vision to serve in a church like the church I grew up in.
The problem about this decision is that the more steps we take to find a new church, the more fiercely I want to cling to Life Church. The more I think about all of the amazing things that God has done through the people there, the more loyalty I feel.
I can honestly say that I am a completely different person than I was a few years ago. Motherhood has had a LOT to do with it, Aimee has motivated me to get emotionally, spiritually, and even physically healthy, and yet, I don't think it would have happened without the love, support, and honesty of that amazing Life Church community. Like any community of people, it is not a perfect place. We have experienced pain and disapointment there too. However, those disapointments cannot overshadow that it is a community of honest, loving, humble, and riotously fun people. A place where I could be terribly flawed and say seriously stupid things and not be made to feel flawed and stupid, even when someone pointed out that what I said was really ignorant and hurtful.
These days, I stand tall. I don't use the words "I'm sorry" like a teenager uses the word "like" in conversation. I don't let people take advantage of me and I don't do things I don't really want to out of feelings of obligation. I don't let people say rude things to me without calling them on it and I don't really care about what others think of me anymore. I know what I think of me and what God thinks of me and I'm satisfied with that. My husband and I are wildly in love (yes, still) and my daughter adores me. My life is pretty amazing, my life has always been this way, I just was too busy trying to cover up my flaws to see it. I'm reading a book right now that says that healthy people are not afraid to show their vulnerabilities and flaws. It sounds like an oxymoron, but it's really true. I spent so much time and energy trying to keep people from seeing me for who I really was that I didn't have any energy left to be myself, love myself, and let others love me for who I really was. I couldn't have gotten there without a community of people that saw through the cover ups I tried to wear, humbly let me know that they could see through it because they had been like me before, and let me know that they loved me with my flaws.
Change is coming. Baby boy Wroblewski will be joyously welcomed and fiercely loved, God will lead us to a place where we can bare fruit, but the journey won't be easy and I really need His grace right now.
Thursday, July 05, 2007
It started in the spring, we stopped at every home improvement store on our way anywhere to look at the models of sheds. It didn't matter that we had already stopped at the same store in another town, THIS store may have a different model!
Sheds usually come in kits. They sell you the plans, along with all of the materials you need. You can then rent whatever tools you may need to build it, or you can have the store come out and they will build it for you. Brian, of course, was going to build it himself.
Then someone gave him the idea that he could design his own shed, which led to him having our friend, who is an award winning architect, design him a shed. So now that shed has blue prints. These blue prints are so detailed that it actually hurts my eyes to look at them.
The next step is to buy all of the materials. He easily could have taken the list to the home improvement store and had them put it all togather for him, but no. Brian is not that type of home owner. Two weeks of research and about six trips to various stores later, he had had every piece of lumber, every nail, and every bag of concrete lovingly and individually picked out.
Two weeks ago, he and his brother Paul worked on digging 6 four feet deep holes to pour the concrete for the foundation of the shed. Since Brian is a man that likes to do things right, he actually went to the city and got a permit before he began. He had the utility companies come out and mark any utility lines, and once he made sure it would all be safe, he rented the hole digger. I went to church that morning to come home and find two boys that were very happy to be alive and unharmed. The company that marks for the electric company did a very bad job of marking and we were now without electricity. All of the utility companies came back out right away to make sure that their lines were properly marked and undamaged and the electric company temporarily patched our electricity, which would give us partial power, but not air conditioning. The next two days were the hottest days of MY LIFE.
It took four huge ComEd trucks to fix our electricity line, and in the process of fixing our electricity, they damaged the cable line, which supplies our phone, internet, and cable.
Everything is fixed now and in working order. The concrete was finally poured yesterday and everything went better than expected. Saturday will begin the actual construction of the shed. I'm not sure we'll ever be able to move from here once it's complete, and if we do, we'll have to put that thing on a flat bed truck and take it with us.
Friday, June 22, 2007
This pregnancy has been far far easier than when I was pregnant with Aimee. Having Aimee to chase around all day and needing to keep her involved in interesting activities has really helped me to keep up my energy and motivation. Being a lot thinner at the start of the pregnancy has helped a lot. I am proud to say that at 6 1/2 months about 1/3 of my wardrobe is not maternity.
I havn't had horrible cravings, except that in the first trimester I didn't have any desire to eat and when I did it was expensive pizza or Popeyes Chicken. The second trimester has been all about carbs and fruit. Cereal, waffles, pancakes, cherries, strawberries. In my effort to combine the two, the other night I announced to Brian out of the blue that I wished we had a donut factory in our living room so that I could have jelly donuts whenever I wanted. As chunky as THAT sounds, I started this week out with 4 Krispy Kreme donuts lovingly packaged in wax paper and a gallon sized zip lock on the counter and 5 days later, I still have 2 left.
I've been trying to prepare Aimee for her little brother and she actually says "brother", but I'm sure that nothing will really be able to prepare her for what is coming. Brian and I are really excited about the new addition to our family and can't wait to meet the little guy.
We feel very blessed
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Some of the things that have just rocked my world are...
- When I lay on the couch and close my eyes, she will come up to me and caress my face and kiss me, or tell Remmy and her baby to "shhhhh....mommy sleep, mommy nap".
- She asks me to take her places or to do things, "Go zoo? Go Play? Read Book?"
- She asks for people, "Daddy Home?, Tia Yoyi? Grace? Britain? (her best friend).
- Finally connecting the dots that when I sing the Clean Up Song and pick up her toys, she can help. She sings the song and HELPS CLEAN UP!
- Sincerely saying "Thank You, Mommy" without being prompted at completely appropriate times.
- Saying "Bless You" when people sneeze.
- Knowing that we don't eat or go to sleep until we bow our heads and say "Amen". She's actually reminded us of it a few times.
- Saying "Wow! Cool!" and knowing what it means.
- Kissing my belly when I tell her that there is a baby in there and it's her little brother who is going to live with us. (Yes, I said Brother, It's a BOY!).
This is definitely my favorite time, ever...
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Friday, June 01, 2007
I checked the clock. It was only 9:10 am. "SWEET!" I thought to myself, "No one will be there yet and I'll have first pick." As I turned into the subdivision, I became a part of the parade of minivans and SUV's lined up along the street. Giddy moms jumping out of their vans and shoving precious treasures into the back, Grandparents walking down the street with toys to put in their basements for when the kids come to visit, and kids screaming "I WANT THIS MOMMY!".
I played it smartly and only stopped where I saw the large outside toys I was looking for. A friend of mine really wants a wagon for her two boys and I found one. I asked the owner of the if the wagon was for sale. He told me it was, and as I walked back to see if it worked, a women cut me off and picked up the handle, so I calmly (but quickly) walked back to the owner and shoved $5 in his hand. "I"ll take it!" I walked back to the women and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry but I just bought that." My friend was really happy to get it.
The only other treasure I was able to find was a toddler picnic table with benches. This is one of the things that we REALLY wanted for her. They cost from $60-100 new and I got it for $7.
Yay for me!
Monday, May 28, 2007
Friday, May 18, 2007
Brian and I had an entire weekend of fun planned that was to begin at noon today, but had to cancel when we all got the stomach virus earlier this week. Brian and I are better, but Aimee is still requiring entire outfit changes with each diaper, if you know what I'm sayin'. Another reason we can't go this weekend is because his boss practically begged Brian to work the whole day today and another 12 hrs tomorrow (Saturday) as well. Brian was resistant about working tomorrow and tried to set his boundries, but he gave in when the owner pulled out the big guns and said that they were in such a bind that the other owner (an 80 year old man) would have to come in and help out if Brian didn't come in.
That's one of the reasons why I love Brian so much. He's an honorable and hard working man.
We are hoping to continue with our plans next week.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
After a tense (but actually really funny) ride home from church, both of our families came over and we had a really nice time togather. The food was great and the presents and cards were really thoughtful. The best gift ever? Aimee learned how to give kisses and she gave me a real kiss on Saturday. It was the sweetest thing in the whole world.
Friday, May 11, 2007
While it would take a lot to top that story, I finally (regrettably) have our own poop story to tell...
I was in the shower this morning when Aimee woke up. In the 10 minutes it took me to finish showering and getting dressed, Aimee managed to take all of her clothes off, stuff her diaper in a remote corner of the crib where I couldn't easily get to it, pee on the other corner of her crib, take a big poop (she didn't go yesterday) and fling the poop across the room. I couldn't even find her diaper or clothes until I moved the entire crib. Her diaper was completely dry and her blankie was entirely soaked.
I immediately put her in the tub and gave her a bath. I let her play in her little toddler tub for a minute while I pulled the dirty sheets off her crib and in THAT short time, she used the little bucket we use when we bathe her to dump half of the water out of her toddler tub onto the bathroom floor.
If anyone feels like babysitting anytime soon, please PLEASE drop me an email.
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
For starters, their news service is so obviously partisan and slanted to the right that it puts Fox News to shame. Secondly, James Dobson really gets on my nerves with what he chooses to support in politics. Thirdly, the last time I listened to a national issues segment in their afternoon talk program they had a guy on who was making a case AGAINST universal healthcare and no one to rebut his arguments. Hmm....last I heard we were commanded to take care of our poor, the widows, and the orphans, buddy.
I've grown fearful of listening to that station in the mornings for fear that I'm going to hear someone talk about how all those "Illegals" are breaking the law and therefore should be shipped back to their countries. ...Followed by a request for the shoes you are planning on throwing away to send to those poor little brown kids in Latin America.
Anyway, this morning Aimee and I drove somewhere really early and my sleepiness made me forget that it was too early to turn on Moody Radio, when all of a sudden, I heard it, the story I didn't want to hear on Moody Radio. The one about immigration. And it almost made me cry.
The story was about how over 100 leaders from many denominations of Christianity, many of them staunch conversative republicans had formed a coaliton called Christians for Comprehensive Immigration Reform. The coalition is calling for humanitarian border security, the reunifications of families that have been torn apart by deportation, and a compassionate path to citizenship and employment. The radio hosts commented on how amazing it was to see several conservative christian leaders actually working with Senator Kennedy.
This is what America is about. People of different values and ideas working with each other for the good of humanity, not working against each other for fear of what could happen "if the other side wins". My prayer is that the denominations involved will encourage their local churches to preach on this issue and that the faith community at large will grow more supportive.
To read todays article in the washington times go to:
One more thing. My old school, Purdue University, named a new president yesterday. For the whole university. Her name is France Cordova. She's an astrophysicist, a woman, and a LATINA. The president that was in office when I went there was once quoted in the newspaper calling Latinos "wetbacks". Umm..that's Madame President to you, sir.
Monday, May 07, 2007
Here are some things that are NOT evil and she actually likes:
New outfits with sparkly embellishments
Painted toenails (on me)
Letting her play with my make-up brushes
Visits from her friends Gracie and Maggie, they are 3 and 4 and are SOO cool.
Brushing her teeth
Shoes (all kinds)
Saturday, May 05, 2007
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Convention ends with Satan and immigrants
CALEB WARNOCK - Daily Herald
Utah County Republicans ended their convention on Saturday by debating Satan's influence on illegal immigrants. The group was unable to take official action because not enough members stuck around long enough to vote, despite the pleadings of party officials. The convention was held at Canyon View Junior High School. Don Larsen, chairman of legislative District 65 for the Utah County Republican Party, had submitted a resolution warning that Satan's minions want to eliminate national borders and do away with sovereignty. In a speech at the convention, Larsen told those gathered that illegal immigrants "hate American people" and "are determined to destroy this country, and there is nothing they won't do." Illegal aliens are in control of the media, and working in tandem with Democrats, are trying to "destroy Christian America" and replace it with "a godless new world order -- and that is not extremism, that is fact," Larsen said. At the end of his speech, Larsen began to cry, saying illegal immigrants were trying to bring about the destruction of the U.S. "by self invasion."
Republican officials then allowed speakers to defend and refute the resolution. One speaker, who was identified as "Joe," said illegal immigrants were Marxist and under the influence of the devil. Another, who declined to give her name to the Daily Herald, said illegal immigrants should not be allowed because "they are not going to become Republicans and stop flying the flag upside down. ... If they want to be Americans, they should learn to speak English and fly their flag like we do."
Senator Howard Stephenson, R-Draper, spoke against the resolution, saying Larsen, whom he called a "true patriot and a close friend," was embarrassing the Republican Party. "I agree with 95 percent of this resolution but it has some language that is divisive and not inspiring other people to its vision," he said. "This only gives fodder to the liberal media to give negative attention to the Republican Party." Joel Wright, a member of the Cedar Hills City Council, was booed as he opposed the resolution. "This might be the most divisive issue in the Republican Party," he said. "I support President Bush but he needs to support this issue harder."
To continue reading this article, go to: http://www.heraldextra.com/content/view/220065/4/
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Talks about mass deportations scare me. I've already talked about the mass deportations that happened between the 1920's - 1940's. That kind of talk gives rise to serious racism and dehumanizes people. I, being part of the group in question do not want to lose my humanity, nor do I want that for my children.
Americans need to accept the fact that we have a serious dependance on illegal labor. When we can understand the magnitude of our dependance, we can then start having serious talks about a worker program or making work visas more accessable for the world's poor that want to come to make a new life here. We also need to hold employers accountable for the living and work conditions of the workers they hire. Legitimizing workers will force employers to treat them as human beings and help end the appauling abuse that is happening today.
The borders should be secured, but spending hundreds of millions of dollars on building a wall will probably not make a big difference. Making visas more accessable may help curb the influx of people as well as give the US more control over who is entering and who isn't.
I support an amnesty. Parents of american citizens, home owners, and business owners should take priority. Undocumented workers would be willing to pay fines, so go ahead and charge a fine to help pay for the cost associated with processing them. Anyone who has committed a crime, including DUIs should not be given amnesty and should be deported. Anyone given legal status through the amenesty should also be held to that standard. If you commit a crime, especially against another person, you should be deported.
That's about all I have to say. Our politicians need to take this problem seriously and come up with some workable solutions. My fear is that this is just another political hot button that's going to be used to drive the political parties further apart. This is a win-win situation for both parties. The democrats have finally found an issue that will bring Latinos to the polling booths, and republicans have found yet another topic that will instill fear in the hearts of middle class white america. Let's not get played people! I'm not going to vote for someone just because they show their face at a rally. Let me see what your ideas are, let me see that you really understand the problem and are willing to do something about it.
Monday, April 30, 2007
For those of you unaware of the term "quarter life crisis", here's a little explaination provided by quarterlifecrisis.com:
QLC FAQs• Q: What is a quarterlife crisis?• A: The quarterlife crisis, or QLC, is essentially a period of anxiety, uncertainty and inner turmoil that often accompanies the transition to adulthood.•
Q: Who coined the phrase "quarterlife crisis?"• A: Abby Wilner, co-author of Quarterlife Crisis and Quarterlifer's Companion, coined the phrase in 1997 after she graduated from college, moved back home, and couldn't figure out what to do with her life.•
Q: What makes the QLC unique for twentysomethings today? • A: Essentially, it is taking longer to become an adult today based on traditional markers such as financial independence and starting a family. The average American job hops 8 times before the age of 32, the average college graduate accrues $20,000 in education loan debt, and the average age to get married is now 27.
You have a quarter life crisis? You move in with your parents! note: not knocking moving in with your parents, I did it too, more than once.
I was lucky enough to have mine very early in my 20's. Necessity made me push through it and fake it as much as I could.
I've decided that milestone birthdays are scary for people who are full of regret for what they have done (or not done) in the years leading up to the milestone. I am happy to turn 30. I am fulfilled, satisfied, and overjoyed with the life that I have. I've had a relatively successful career, I'm able to stay home and take care of my beautiful 1.5 kids, I have a loving and purposeful marriage, good relationships with family, and so many good and faithful friends that my calendar is booked for the next 4 weeks. I'm not sure that life can get any better than that. Regrets? Sure, I have them. I am realistic, however, and know that 30 is indeed the new 20 and I can still accomplish those things. There is lots of time, and if there isn't, I know that I've done pretty well with the 30 years I've been given so far.