Christmas Bounty

After a long day of opening presents, she takes a few minutes to take a drink and look over her newly acquired wealth.

Everything but the dog...

You see all that stuff in the background? It all sits in every free space we could find all over our house. See the unwrapped gifts? Yeah, those too. We left the dog, but she would have liked to bring him home as well.

The sweetest part of my day...

is first thing in the morning when she says "Thank You!" to me for taking her out of her crib.

Accept that it sounds more like, "Tay too!"

On the go go go, I love you so!

After Sunday's dance performance for the family, Aimee has rediscovered her love for her Baby Sesame Street video. The difference is that this time, she can ask me to play it for her. We are probably on the 30th time we've watched it since Sunday. (I'm not even exaggerating). She grabs my hand and walks me to the living room and hands me the DVD remote. If I don't put it on, she stands in front of the tv and whines.

Ahh..the joys of toddlerhood.

Tagged by Uncle Ray (Lunatic Biker)

Five things you don't know about me....

1. I was once handcuffed, put in a squad car, and arrested for reckless driving on the Skyway. I was trying to get to Purdue Cal. from work to take an economics test. I was released after a while. I sped away to take my test and I got a B.

2. I once went on a date with a prince of a small arab country. He never talked to me again after he found out that 2 of my closest friends lived down the hall from him. Those guys were real baffoons. Looking back, I understand why he didn't want anything to do with me after learning that bit of information.

3. I was all set to move here shortly after I met Brian. I had already given notice at my job and was collecting empty boxes for my move. I decided to wait and rethink it after I started to date him and I decided to not move there after all.

4. I once dragged Stephanie along for a 36 hour bus ride to Mexico, just because I wanted to have the experience.

5. At age 16, I went to Washington, D.C. and lobbied Congress people and Senators for money for a summer program I was a part of. One girl told a congressmen that the program kept her from fornicating. He almost spit out his coffee and I had a giggling fit.

Santa Claus 2005

Santa Claus 2006

Aimee had an upset stomach for a few days this week. After spending lots of time and cleaning products trying to clean the van, we are learning that vomit is not an easy odor to get rid of.

She was feeling better today so her Grandma Carol and I got her all dressed up for her pictures with Santa. I combed her hair in ponytails that even my mother would be proud of, and we ventured to the mall to meet up with Brian and see the Old Man in Red.

Last year, the photo was taken right before she blessed Santa with her little baby vomit, so this year, I wasn't taking any chances. Last night, I called on my friend Melody, doctor extraordinare, to guide me as to how I could avoid a repeat. I followed all of her feeding instructions for 36 hours.

When we got to the mall, I gave Aimee a pep talk about not crying. I told her that I was going to sit her on his lap, and walk away for a minute while Mrs. Santa took the picture, but I wouldn't leave her. That Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma would be there the whole time and we wouldn't walk away. I told her that one day she would be excited to see him. Finally, I told her that if she wasn't going to smile, to go ahead and cry. But not a wimpy cry. To really give it her all and go all drama queen on him.

The result was priceless.

Growing Up...

This weekend turned out to be really great. I had friends over both Saturday and Sunday. They are both friends that until recently, we had gone years without talking to. After lots of preparation that included: thinking, praying, and blogging; I had the opportunity to really share my heart with my competitive friend. It felt wonderful to speak in truth and feel understood. I am learning that an important step in order to grow up is to have courage to lovingly and with a tender heart be able to confront someone that you care about.

Another vital step in growing up is to accept responsibility and to be able to ask for forgiveness. Brian and I did that with some friends we were estranged from for several years. After asking for forgiveness, the friendships have picked up right where they left off.

I want to grow up because if I don't, Aimee won't have the mother I want for her. It is good that now, I will be able to tell her a little more about what it takes to be a true friend.

Mom! Mom!

Now she calls me when she's about to do something she knows she's not supposed to do.

Revelation

So after about a week of struggling with this, I realize that the struggle isn't really mine. I get the feeling that one of my friends really looks down on me because of my decision to stay home. She hasn't said anything about it specifically, but her comments and attitude have expressed to me how she really feels. I've been feeling really disturbed by some of her off hand comments.

Before I get into this, let me just say that I KNOW how tacky it is that I'm going to blog about this, but it's really been bothering me, so I'm going to just throw etiquette to the wind and I'm going to blog about it to my heart's content.

I guess one of the things that bothers me most is that she is trying to size up how Brian and I are doing financially, and I get the feeling that she desperately wants us to be doing worse than she and her husband. I don't want to go into details about what she said to bring me to this conclusion, but let's just say that I've had a lot of time to think about what she said, I really do think that I am right about this.

I'm not quite sure about how to handle it. I confess. I've had to really fight with the competitive side of me who wants to win for the sake of winning. I've had to stop myself from asking Brian to move up some home improvements we plan on doing in the next few months for the sake of impressing this girl. I've had to remind myself that the sacrifices we are all making as a family are worth the moments that I get to spend with my beautiful Aimee. And that continuing to work would have been a strain on our family. I firmly believe that the work I am doing now, creating a peaceful and loving home, working on my relationships, developing my inner self, is a greater calling than working for a lifestyle that we don't need. Most importantly, I've had to ask God to soften my heart and to give me feelings of compassion and mercy toward her, rather than feelings of vanity and conceit.

When I had that important job those first few years of my marriage, work was a little bit like a drug to me. I sacrificed a lot in my personal relationships and I began to believe that my value was in how far I could get, how many important people I could meet, and how many committtees and boards I could be on. It was a lonely life and Brian and I don't have much to show for those years. God has changed both my and Brian's heart radically. We recognize that whatever we have comes from God, and we know we are living a life of abundance. Our life overflows with friends and family that truly love us, hope for the future, and a deep love for each other.

I realize now that her insecurity is not my problem. I am not going to play this silly game of who has more. I am officially taking myself out of this competition.

The Struggle

I've been struggling with a lot of stuff lately. I made up my mind that tonight, I would process everything and work it out here, on this blog. Writing usually makes me feel better. It helps me organize my thoughts and as I read back to myself what I've written, I can see with my own eyes the wisdom or foolishness of my conclusions.

However, tonight, I won't have the satisfaction of decluttering my thoughts. Instead, I'll go to sleep with unfinished sentences floating around in my head, waiting for me to capture them and prioritize them neatly on the page.

I will share this with you, I feel like I've finished the first leg of a long journey. I'm happily progressing and feeling sure of my steps. Growing up is so difficult, but it's so good.

On another note: Church was absolutely beautiful today.

Feeling a little looser-ish

*P.S...I guess a little explaination might be needed for those of you unfamiliar with MySpace.

1. "Tom" is always the first friend on any new Myspace account created. I think he's the creator of Myspace and is basically the face of MySpace customer service. I needed to explain that to Brian very quickly as I saw the look of anger and confusion taking over his face, because his wife's #1 friend was some random dude.

2. To find my page, go to http://www.myspace.com/brianandlizzie.

That's all for now!

********************************************************************************

I just created a Myspace page so that I can keep in touch with a friend that I just re-connected with and I'm feeling a little bit like a loser because "Tom" is the only person in my top 8.

So if any of you reading this want to be the first real person on my Top 8, email me or send me an invite or whatever it is that your supposed to do on Myspace to get in the highly coveted position of Lizzie M's Top 8.

It's the cuteness!

Cute things Aimee is doing as a toddler:

• Quietly and gently lays herself down on the floor, makes sure she's not going to hit anything, and then has a kicking and screaming tantrum. How can I not laugh at that?
• Talks in her sleep
• She's learning to put on and take off her clothes.
• Is growing more attached to her baby and her blankie. She wouldn't go into Target without them.
• Sits still long enough for me to "Chiquea" her. (That mean's to "cuddle" her in Stephie language).
• Has her own dance moves.

Dear Aimee. Re: Thanksgiving weekend.

Dear Aimee,

How can I put this nicely? Thank you for a .... memorable Thanksgiving weekend.

To my family and friends that don't have young children at home, I have something to tell you:

The Terrible Two's. They don't wait until your child turns two.

Lots of events this week.

1. We have 2 more teeth. That's a grand total of 8. Most kids her age already have a full set. She can keep up with the best of them though, eating just about anything you put in front of her. Her favorite "sneak" food that she only get's when visiting my mother's house? Chicharones. Gross. If you don't know what that means, it's probably for the better.

2. I am probably going to babysit my friend's baby 2 days a week. We did a small trial run yesterday and it was lots of fun! Aimee spent the day hugging and petting him. No jealousy except for when I had to change him at the same time that she woke up from her nap and she didn't get her usual post-wake up cuddle time until after the diaper was changed.

3. I start my consulting gig with my previous employer today. It's just 3 days a month for the next three months. I'm a little nervous about leaving Aimee with a new sitter and about getting to work on time today. The new sitter is a friend that we visit every week for a small playgroup. She is a professional nanny and I'm sure she will do fine. I just don't want Aimee to be upset that I'm not going to stay to play with her. I'm starting to regret having accepted this contract. Hopefully, I'll feel differently at the end of the day when my friend tells me that Aimee didn't even miss me. (hope hope).

4. My sister Stephanie leaves for a semester in Spain in less than 2 months. I feel sick with anxiety just thinking about it.

5. We are cleaning out some of the garage and posted a sale announcement on Craig's list. We've gotten a pretty good response so far. Hopefully, we'll sell lots of stuff and Brian will be able to get the mack-daddy penthouse shed he wants this spring.

For Stephanie

So Stephanie called me and she's at Purdue right now waiting for Yoli to come get her. She wanted to come home for the weekend and was able to get a ride to Purdue (which is about half way home from Bloomington).

When I was in school, Stephanie was about 10 years old and my mom allowed her to come and visit me. Stephanie would stay with me for the weekend, and once, she even stayed for her entire spring break, which was over a week.

I really treasure those moments we had. I don't really know what the experience was like for her, but I imagine that it was a completely different world. My friends thought she was the cutest thing and some even had "dates" with her. One friend in particular will always have a place in Stephanie's heart. Her name was Natalia and she took Stephanie to the hippy card store and let Stephanie have a sticker shopping spree. I think she spent something like $20 on stickers, an amount that was astronomical back then. I remember saying something about Stephanie not being able to keep a secret in front of Natalia, so while they were on their little shopping spree, they came up with this elaborate story about a secret that Stephanie was going to keep from me about Natalia. It was so well orchestrated that to this day, I am not sure what was made up and what was true.

Another memorable moment was when Stephanie noticed that my side of the pantry of the apartment that I shared with a girl from a rich family was much more humble than my roommates. Bags of beans, rice, tuna, and other staples from Aldi sparcely lined my side of the pantry; while my roommate's overflowed with candy bars, brand name foods, and bottled water. Stephanie asked me if she could have a candy bar, but my roommate wasn't home and I didn't want to take without asking, so I dug around and found 55 cents and offered to take her to the vending machine. The look in her eyes revealed a feeling of compassion for me and my situation and she politely declined and resigned herself to control her 10 year old sweet tooth.
She reminded me of this 7 years later when I took her to Sugar, an upscale dessert bar where we spent more on dessert than I would have spent on 2 weeks worth of groceries back then.

Those were the moments that made being a big sister so awesome. And now, that she is in school herself, I am so proud of her.

Halloween Pics

I just posted a bunch of pics of Aimee in her costume on her picture blog. Enjoy!

Halloween!

Hope everyone has a fun day! Aimee is coming down with a cold, so who knows if we'll be able to do anything tomorrow. Today was beautiful and our local coffee shop (The Fat Bean) hosted an awesome dress-up party for a mom's group that I belong to. I was so glad that we were able to go. Aimee had a blast eating the free giant cookie that was loaded with orange frosting and dancing to folk and bluegrass renditions of The Itsy Bitsy Spider, Old MacDonald, and This Land is Your Land.

The little dragon guy in the picture above is Aimee's new friend. His name is Seamus and he startled Aimee and made her cry when he decided that he was going to steal her away and grabbed her arm a little too assertively.

We went back to the Pumpkin farm with a good friend and her kids in the afternoon. Aimee got on the Pony again and stayed on for 2 laps this time.

It was a fun day.

Progress pictures

This is a picture of Brian and I exactly one year ago. We were celebrating our 2nd anniversary. I was wearing a (tight) size 24 and Brian a size 3 X.




Here we are yesterday. I'm in a (tight) size 16 and Brian is in XL.

Remembering

I began writing this about a week after 9/11 this year. I wasn't able to finish it and as more time passed, it seemed harder to find a reason to finish and post this entry. Today is our wedding anniversary, so I thought I 'd go ahead and post it.

9/11 is a really weird time for Brian and I. As 9/11 approaches we anticipate it with mixed emotions because we met the day before, 9/10/2001. As we listen to the newscasts that play in the background while we clean up after dinner we will catch the phrase, "It's been __ years since that day...." and we say, "Wow, have we really been togather for that long?"

Over the years, we've heard stories about how 9/11 influenced our culture. The return of religion into people's lives, childless couples deciding there was no better time than now, Jessica Simpson and Nick Lechaey getting engaged, it goes on and on...
I've never really stopped to think if 9/11 had anything to do with the speed in which our relationship grew. Brian and I met on Monday 9/10 and by Sunday 9/16 we both had decided in our own minds that we would marry. It took another week for us to each tell our parents that we had met "the one", and a few more weeks for us to tell each other. Both our parents thought we were crazy. My mom cautioned me that such a strong declaration so soon may not be sincere, while his family may have thought that I was a rebound from a failed long-term relationship. However, we ignored the advise of our parents and had faith in the trust we started to build on our 3rd date, which in retrospect, is really a building block of our relationship.

We met on Monday, and went on dates every day from Thursday-Sunday. The night of our third date , while we walked around Buckingham Fountain, we came up with an idea. We would tell each other the most embarassing and shameful thing we'd ever done. The one piece of information that we'd never want each other to know. That way, we wouldn't have to be afraid that the other person would find out and want to end the relationship. If this information was too much for one of us, then three dates was not too much life wasted on something that didn't work out. That little conversation has had a huge impact in our marriage. We are able to live our life in freedom. I don't have to fear that he doesn't love me. He learned what I thought was the most unloveable thing about me in the beginning, and chose to love me anyway.

It's been over 5 years since we met, and today, October 19, marks 3 years of marriage. I never imagined marriage would be so good. I knew it would be hard, and it has been. Working toward a healthy marriage has been more difficult than living in a bad relationship. It would have been easier to ignore the unhealthy, selfish, and ugly in each other. Instead, we have chosen to confront those things head on. Climbing a mountain to the summit is more difficult than admiring it from the valley, but you just can't get that kind of view from below.

Braces

I go to the orthodontist every 2 weeks. I usually take Aimee with me. I put her in the stroller and park her right in front of the chair. They usually schedule me in the morning when they are not busy, so if she gets fussy, one of the assistants is able to entertain her.

To keep her entertained, I pack her little purple backpack with some toys, usually the pretend Veterinary kit my Mother in Law bought her. The kit comes with a thermometer, stethoscope, tweezers, a shot syringe, and stuffed baby animals.

Yesterday, I was sitting on the floor playing with her, and she took her tweezers and started to work on my braces. HOW OLD IS SHE? 16 MONTHS?

Happy Birthday Uncle Paul!

 

A post with actual writing!

It's been difficult for me to sit down and actually write. First of all, it's hard to type with a clingy toddler on your lap. Secondly, it's becoming increasingly difficult to finish a thought, much less write a sentence you'd be comfortable lettng your friends and family read, with a clingy toddler on your lap. Thirdly, as we settle into life without visiting relatives it really is difficult to find time. I find myself working from the time I wake up in the morning until the moment when I put Brian's lunch cooler in the fridge (which marks the official end of my work day).

How are things? Great actually. I am enjoying being home with Aimee very much. I feel very blessed to be able to stay home with her. She's a fun toddler. She's vocal, energetic, demanding, and happy. She loves animals and squeals anytime we see one. She loves her baby and loves taking things out of containers and then putting them (halfway) back. She likes music very much and her new favorite place is the soft-play area in the mall. We spent almost 2 hours there yesterday and Brian took her back after dinner while I went to my Weight Watcher's meeting.

Our life is so different now than it was a year ago and I welcome it so much. I am a very different person now. I'm more confident, less anxious, comfortable in my skin, less apologetic. I guess I'm really starting to feel...grown up.

Sunshine

It makes my heart ache.

Visit to the Pumpkin farm

Today we visited Sonny Acres with Grandma Carol and Nancy, a family friend. Sonny Acres is about 10 minutes from my inlaws and Brian went there every year growing up. It was really fun (and exhausting). There will be more pics of our visit on her picture blog. 

Like Mommy, Like Baby

Go to Aimee's Picture blog to see more pics. Here she is, pretending she's me. Today was a challanging day because Aimee wouldn't let me put her down for even a second. During one of the few moments where she let me put her down, she picked up her baby and cuddled with it. 

Like Father, Like Son

Brian and His dad put our new floors down this weekend. Lots of excitement was had around the Wroblewski household. For more pics go to Aimee's album. 

Dancing

Aimee and Mommy Dancing with Elmo.  

Today was our first day of class at the Park District.  

Here's a picture of Aimee's first day at Tot Rock Class. She was very timid at first. It took her a while to work up the nerve to walk up to the keyboard, then she had to get comfortable before she'd touch the keys. Here she is just before she gave in and started playing with the keyboard.
The theme was Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and her favorite part of the class was when the teacher took out the Doggie Puppet (named Rock-It) and played Peek a Boo with each child.
Aimee, who we've already established was a bit timid at first, shot up right off of my lap, let out her signature "doggie yelp" and ran right up to the teacher and followed Rock-It for the entire game of Peek a Boo.
Being a stay at home mom just keeps getting better. 

Hey Stef!

Here's the picture you asked me to take when we were on the phone today. Notice the vomit spots on the couch and the look on her face right before she broke into a tantrum because I wouldn't give her the camera. 

We miss you Tia Steph!

 

Pics from Aimee's first pool party

 

Pool Party

 

New Favorite Dress

 

A day at the Zoo

Thanks to the membership that Grandma and Grandpa W gave Aimee for her birthday, we were able to visit the Brookfield Zoo this week and Aimee was very excited to be a Junior Zookeeper.

We got up close and personal with the farm animals... 

The Mother bird says, "For more pics on our visit to the zoo, check out my picture blog"

The Impossible

I did it. I got that second magnet up on my Fridge. The one that celebrates the fact that I'm doing what I never, since the 2nd grade, thought I could do. I'm actually losing weight.
Yesterday, I made my stretch goal of losing 50 pounds (I've actually lost 53 since joining Weight Watchers). Since 6 weeks after having Aimee, I've lost a total of 93. Pretty incredible.

Growing up?

Aimee has officially given up her morning nap. Not only has she stopped napping for her usual minimum of 3 hrs a day, she isn't even napping for 1 hr a day. I keep trying to tell her that she's NOT grown up, that all of her friends that are under 3 nap for 3 hrs a day, and that every book I have read about the subject say that she should be NAPPING. Instead, she ignores me and chases the dog.

So if you happen to call and I'm not answering, it's probably because I've collapsed from exhaustion.

Update

It's been a week since I had my braces put on. It's been a week of mouth, head, and stomach aches. I am trying to push through the misery. They only put braces on my upper teeth, the lowers will come later once my upper jaw has done some adjusting. The orthodontist said that the pain is a lot worse when an adult wears braces because the bone is harder. He doesn't know when I'll get the lowers put on. I'm just hoping that I'll have a break from the pain that will be long enough for me to be able to eat some real food. (That's why I've been having stomache aches).

I never thought that I'd be worried about eating enough. I've come to learn that starving your body can cause it to go into starvation mode and losing weight becomes more difficult. Even 100 calories can make a difference, so I'm finding myself thinking of how I can eat more without actually having to chew.

Today, Aimee and I took out the construction paper and markers. We were trying to make a birthday card for her Grandpa John. She got marker on herself, her clothes, the fan, the humidifier, the changing table, and the dog. None on the paper. It was lots of fun and it took my mind off of the tiny torture devices on my teeth.

After Brian got off of work we went to the water park for a few hours. Good times.

Aimee's Grandpa John entered this photo in the Dupage County Fair. It's on display in the photography section in case any of you happen to go this week and want to check it out in person.

Thanks Grandpa!

Pride

Recently, Brian and I finally watched Real Woman Have Curves. It's a movie that came out several years ago. Here's the plot: Ana, an cute but overweight Mexican American girl is graduating at the top of the upper class school she gets bused into. Her mother, an overbearing, condescending, manipulative, demanding stereotype doesn't want her to go to college. Instead, she wants her to work as a seamstress in their family shop, lose weight, get married, and have some kids. Ana rages against what her mother wants by eating her weight in tres leches cake, giving her virginity to a boy she decides she won't see again, and going to college in New York.

It's supposed to be empowering for girls or something. I was neither empowered, nor impressed. In fact, I was depressed. (Except for her going to college...that was good.)

Pride is a horribly debilitating thing. I wanted to scream at the TV. I wanted to take Ana out for coffee and explain to her that it's much harder to do the right thing for the right reasons DESPITE everyone else wanting you to do the right things for misguided reasons. She wanted to prove to her mother that her worth was not based on her looks or her virginity. I wanted to tell her that she was right. Her worth isn't based on those things, but because she IS worthy, she should guard them.

For so many years, lots of people wanted me to lose weight. I always rejected it. Like Ana, I was out to prove that I could be overweight and still be successful, get dates with hot guys (I got to marry one!), and be popular. Now that I'm older, I realize that while people's motivations (or methods) weren't always what I needed at the time, I was wrong. I was wrong to stay overweight for the sake of pride. It kills me when people look at me with satisfaction because "I finally listened" and am on my way to not having to shop in the plus department anymore. I want to tell them, yeah, I'm not doing this because of you and your rude comments, I'm doing it because I care about myself.

Today, I had to deal with my pride. It's an aweful thing when your pride get's hurt. My natural reaction is to see what I can do to build it back up. Unfortunately, my only defensive reactions would have hurt me more than anyone else. If I didn't want to suffer, I'd have to continue to do the right thing despite anyone else's opinion.

Pride is such a powerful thing that even when you realize that you need to change in your life, it can keep you from inviting it in for fear that it will be seen as weakness. I guess that's why being a Christian is hard. Christianity requires us ask for help and admit that we can't on our own.

Sleep walker

My husband is a sleep walker. Many have heard some of the funny (and scary) stories about the things he's said and done in his sleep. Brian can have full conversations with you in his sleep...sometimes in Spanish. When we were first married, I would try to see if I could "catch" him in anything, like calling me by an ex-girlfriends name or something equally incriminating. Lucky for him (and me) I confirmed time and time again that I am in fact, the only person he thinks about, dreams about, and loves.

Lately Brian's sleepwalking/talking have all been about Aimee. Usually he dreams that Aimee is sleeping in the bed with us and is going to fall, which means that he usually tries to catch her. Since I'm the only person in the bed with him, I'm the one that ends up getting "caught".

So, I am making his sleep walking episodes a regular feature on this blog. I'll start with this one that happened a few nights ago :

Brian: "Can you help me catch Aimee?"
Liz: "Catch her from where?"
Brian: "She's crawling around all over the floor and I can't catch her"
Liz: " Honey, she's laying in her crib sleeping"
Brian: "Are you sure?"
Liz: "Yes honey, I put her there. She's been sleeping all night"
Brian: "Ohhhh. Maybe that's why I can't catch her."

Disconnected

A billboard informed me yesterday that a highschool classmate of mine was murdered 2 years ago. I was driving home and there, right off of the highway, was a reward for information leading to the capture of his killer. Today, after some google-action I found out that one of the person's of interest is another former classmate from the private school I went to for one year. I also discovered that it's been all over the news for the past 2 years. The local newspapers have run a story about it every few months and there's even been TV news reports.

He wasn't a personal friend, but everyone knew him. He was a popular athlete from a well known family. The newspaper article said that he was doing well as a real estate investor. He was the kind of guy that everyone knew would do well in life.

It's really shocking.

Road Trip

Aimee took her first road trip last weekend. It was picture perfect. Grand Dad Wroblewski came with us to Minnesota to see Granny and Uncle Ray and the crew. I'm trying to settle into staying home and I'm realizing that if I have it my way, I'll be moving around too much to actually settle. The dry erase board on the fridge is already full of activities and commitments for the rest of the week and part of next week, and I havn't even joined my church's Mom's Coffee group, or looked into activities at the park district.

Tomorrow it's off it Millenium Park, to visit her Abuela at work, and to visit relatives. Friday is Aimee's first play date and then an afternoon at the pool.

Every now and then I think about those things that are specific to our culture that we inevitably grow out of as we become more americanized. It's my visit with relatives tomorrow that reminded me about how we used to always ask our Puerto Rican older relatives and family friends to bless us. When we'd walk in the house we'd automatically say, "Bendicion" which means, "Blessing" or "please give me your blessing". When I was little I said it because that's what everyone else said. I didn't think about the meaning, just about the fact that it was a show of respect. Now that I'm older, I realize that it was a richly beautiful custom and I'm very sad that Aimee will probably only know about it because I'm going to tell her. People rarely ever ask for it anymore, and being away from family provides less opportunity to impose on their benedictions.

Aimee's first Road Trip

Pics of Aimee's visit with her Great Granny, Ella, Uncle Ray, and Aunt Debbie up on her picture blog.

Old and New

Today is the last day of working life as I have known it for the past 10 years. Brian asked me the other day what was going through my mind. Not much really. A bit of anxiety, uncertainty. Will I be able to make this life all that I dreamed it would be? Days filled with friends, sun, fun activities, dinner ready made by 4 pm and keeping my house impeccably clean? I don't know. I've already learned that the keeping the house impeccably clean and dinner part could actually take up a major part of the day, so I'm going to have to really make some decisions about that.

I'm looking forward to enjoying my baby, teaching her new things, and letting her teach me too. I'm hoping to contribute more to our home so that Brian will have more time to spend with us after work, and to figure out what I want to do when I decide to go back to the work force. I also realize that in a few weeks, when every nook and cranny of my house is organized and all the projects completed, I will begin to wonder how I can improve the community and world around me. I'm not going to worry about that right now. Right now, I'm just going to get the "full time mommy" thing down, and then I'll think about that later.

Also, today marks the fourth anniversary of the death of my dear friend Shawn. We had a horrible fight and I broke his heart months before he died. We didn't speak to each other until 3 weeks before his death. He called me to say that he felt the Holy Spirit prompting him to call me. We talked for a while that day, and we sat in silence, not knowing what more to say, but not wanting to hang up. Three weeks later, Brian and I went to see him perform with his band at Cornerstone and he died the next day. He had stayed up all night, and watched the sunrise. He told friends that he had never felt God's glory as powerfully as he did that morning. His heart failed him that day, and I received the call from a mutual friend with the news.

Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been if I had chosen the path he wanted for me. I'm a firm believer that God honors whatever path we take as long we we honor Him in the process. I have been blessed these past years. Blessed beyond my imagination. Tomorrow I step out in a new direction and I have faith that no matter what, I have placed my future in the right hands.

Overflow

We have lots of family in for the summer. They are all staying at Casa De Mom, so when my sister Yoli had a friend coming in from Israel, Casa De Wroblewski became overflow housing.

It was such a nice experience to be able to host them for a few days. My sister's friend showed me how to make really good authentic Sushi and we had babysitting for a few days so Brian and I were able to go out for dinner a few times. (I think I gained 2 lbs in the process). It was really nice to have a house full of people that I like.

I just can't get over it

From time to time, I find myself just falling in love with the most random things. For example, I always get a kick out of how enormous Brian's feet look when he stands on our bathroom scale. Or how when he's talking about something and gets really excited, he has a very slight lisp. I love those random things. I fall in love with them, forget about it, and then fall in love with it all over again with the same joy and level of intensity I'd have if I had just noticed it for the first time.

Before Brian, I didn't have many significant relationships. Most guys got on my nerves too quickly for a serious relationship to ever materialize. However, I always enjoyed the entire life cycle of the relationship. Usually it went something like this:

1. Infatuation Stage. "That guy is awesome!"
2. He Likes Me Too Stage. "We are dating! How Fun!"
3. He eats His Popcorn Too Loud Stage. "I can't date a loud popcorn eater."
4. I Can't See You Anymore Stage. "If I'm breaking up with you, why does it still hurt?"

Even the process of breaking up was something to appreciate. A few weeks before we got married, I entered into a mini-depression. I actually grieved the loss of breaking up. "I'll never sing along to a break up song with the same emotion again!" I whined to my roommate. She thought I was crazy.

Now I realize that perhaps I was depressed because I didn't know the ending. I always knew how my other relationships would end. Getting married meant giving up control. I couldn't imagine loving anyone as much as I loved, say, my sisters. It's natural to love your sisters. Not so much to commit to loving forever and making a family with a guy you've only known for a year or two.

It was around that time that I saw some celebrity on a talk show talking about being married for a long time. The interviewer, (I think it was Regis), asked her, "How do you stay in love after so many years?" The celebrity said something about love staying alive when you fall in love all over again with little things. She gave the example of sitting with her husband and looking down and seeing his hand and just feeling a great deal of love for his hand. For some reason, that made sense to me, and I remember thinking, "Well, I hope that's me in the next 30 years."

It gives me a great deal of satisfaction to tell you that I no longer mourn the loss of the "break up". Instead, I take in the joyful feeling of falling in love with the little things. What's even better is that I get to experience this with my little Aimee as well. After a year of looking at her little toes, I still want to put them in my pocket and take them with me where ever I go.

Around the neighborhood

I have a neighbor that's a FREAK about her lawn. She does maintainance on it at least 3 times a week. Part of her regimen includes trimming the grass that borders the sidewalk and driveway. with scissors. by hand. so that it's perfectly rounded. in her bra. In fact, she does all of her lawn maintainance in her bra. No, it's not a bikini top. I've had 3 years of sneaking peaks to confirm that it is in fact, foundation wear and not swim wear. We've become accustomed to it and have even learned to be comfortable with greeting her when we are on a walk and she's in her underwear, although conversations have proven to be much more difficult to muster up.

Yesterday was the day she needed to mow her lawn into perfectly straight lines, and let me tell you, nothing in the world could come between her and her lawn mower and her bra. Not even even if it meant her putting on a show for the 10 guys that were putting a new roof on my house. The crew leader promised me the work would be finished by 4 or 5 pm. They finished up around 6 or 6:30. Thanks a lot Bra Lady!

The Saga Continues

The nasty villian known as the "Double Ear Infection" has returned. This time, I was perceptive enough to catch it before Aimee got too uncomfortable. I took her to Urgent Care this morning and the receptionist said that she was acting and looked fine. This was the same receptionist that checked me in when I took her to have her finger checked because she smashed it the night before and woke up with a fingertip that looked like a blueberry. That was the day that the Nurse told me that I need to use my mother's intuition and common sense before rushing her to the doctor every time she has an Ow-ie. I got my money back that day, but I gained a reputation as an over-reacting first timer mom. I guess I'd rather be known as an overreacting mom than a mom to a kid with a raging ear-infection that didn't do anything about it because she was worried that she'd be thought of as an over-reactor.

Walking

Aimee will be walking any week now. She's caught herself standing without any support a few times and didn't know what to do with herself. I've tried to spend the last few evenings walking up and down the living room/dining room with her little walker. This is really exciting stuff. My cousin said that my whole life will change when she starts walking. My whole life has changed several times over the past year and 9 months. I'm finally learning to look forward to it and enjoy it.

Favorite new toy

Brian does that when he's trying to focus too

Like a chunky girl at fat camp...