It's been a while and I'm feeling some pressure to write something great. I feel like I should write something meaningful and beautiful that will be able to explain everything that has happened in the past four months, how it's changed me, how it's changed our little family. That's a lot of pressure. I know I won't be able to do it, so I'll just start with right now.
I have been fighting against stress induced paralysis. Sometimes I just deal by not dealing, and that, my friends, is not a good way to deal. So I am committing to doing. Not TRYING to do it, DOING IT.
I have a new job. It started three months ago and today it looks very different from what I even interviewed for. It's been hard. I have to prove myself, and I am frozen with fear that I may not be able to meet my goals. So, I am trying to just shut it all off and go for it.
It seems like Aimee and Daniel have changed so much in the last few months. Daniel has a vocabulary that expands every day. He has an obsession with Elmo. He loves to play with his matchbox cars. He wants to do everything Aimee does. He hates going to the grocery store and it makes my life more difficult, but he randomly gives me kisses and it makes it all better. Aimee and Danny are both taking some classes now. Aimee is in her 2nd year of Pre-school and Ballet. Daniel is taking a Gymnastics class and will be attending storytime at the library.
Aimee has blossomed in so so many ways. She continues to be a fashionista and is now all about matching and jewelry. Going places with her is an entirely new experience and everything I ever hoped it would be. I am amazed and impressed with her ability to express what she's feeling and what needs emotionally and she breaks my pride and makes me feel ashamed when she asks for affection after I've diciplined her in anger.
So how is everything else? Well...it's funny how going through a difficult time can leave you strengthened in some areas and weakened in others. Perspective? So easy to lose. Commitment? I'm short-sighted. Regrets? Many. But I won't go into that, because I'm not as brave as my 4 year old daughter.