Friday, December 28, 2007

Growing up...

I've said it before and I'll say it again, having kids makes time go by faster, and as a mom, you just want it to stop so that you can hold your sweet baby a little longer.

Daniel slept in his big crib last night and today is his second night sleeping in his own room. I didn't want to take him out of his little basinette. I don't want him to be 20 feet away instead of 5 feet away.

Aimee has figured out that my name is not just "Mommy", so sometimes she calls me "Wizzy" if I don't respond right away to "Mommy". I know I should correct her, but it's just so darn cute to hear her say "Wizzy! Where are you?" She also saw an Elmo's World episode about Helping, so now when she gets herself in precarious situations, instead of crying she calls out, "Heyelp! Heyelp!". She tested it out first by throwing herself on the floor to see if I'd come and help her up.

Ever since helping me bake Christmas cookies, she wants to help prepare every meal. Today she went to the pantry and took out a can of soup and a package of tic tacs and said, "I help cooking today mommy."

Daniel is amazed by his new mobile that projects really cool patterns and plays really sweet, non annoying music that he got for Christmas, I think it's pretty cool too.

Aimee was really excited about opening presents this year and has been spending the day playing with new toys. She puts on all 152 bracelets that my mom got her on one arm, picks up a hammer from a toy tool set that both She and Daniel got from the inlaws, and walks around the house hammering everything from the wall, to the oven, to the tables. She is really excited to go to the Dells this weekend and keeps saying, "Going Swimming after tomorrow".

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Daniel meets my Dad

A wonderful life...

We had a roller coaster weekend. Lots of ups and downs. A death in the family, reuniting with relatives we hadn't seen in years, two accidents in one night (one involving a diaper and no where to change a baby, the other a minivan and my mom's house), my dad getting to meet Daniel for the first time, Brian and his dad sharing a really cool experience, and our kid's theatrical debut in the church Christmas program.

It was a crazy busy weekend, but it was really great. Daniel played the role of Baby Jesus and Aimee was a Giraffe in the manger where Jesus was born. We didn't think Aimee would go through with being up on stage in front of 200 people, but she did, and she did it with flair. Brian and I are those geeky annoying parents that took 100 pictures and video of it all, then came home and watched the video over and over again, and plan to show it to everyone that comes over.

Pics (and more boasting ) are to come.

Thursday, December 06, 2007


I had the receptionist at the orthodontist tell me that I needed the Super Nanny.

Aimee had a very brief meltdown involving her signature screaming. If you aren't lucky enough to have experienced it, it is blood curdling and you would think that it could cause an earthquake. My sister Stephanie says that when she screams like that in public, people probably think that she has a terrible home life.

I've decided that her meltdown was because the last time we went to the doctor, both her and Daniel got shots and Daniel cried (alot), so she probably thought I was going to be getting a shot too. Once she calmed down, she sat next to me while I got my braces worked on, rubbing my leg and comforting me telling me "It's ok, Mommy. Your fine. It's ok".

The staff in the treatment area could not have been more gracious and understanding, so when I went to schedule my next appointment, I was caught off gaurd by the receptionist commenting on Aimee's screaming and then saying, "Oh, it sounds like you need the Super Nanny." My response was, "I'm sorry, what did you say?" She confirmed what I heard with "Yeah, it sounds like you need Super Nanny." I was really surprised that someone her age (mid 30's) could be so rude and all I could really think to say was, "Um. No not really. I don't think we are there yet."

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

A great Me

The popular subject of conversations among many of my friends has been one that has caught me off guard. It's a subject that cements my position as a "grown up", and it has startled me to be discussing such things (seemingly) so early in life. Remember, mine is the generation that has grown up very slowly. It is the generation of the "failure to launch" phenomenon, and the "Quarter life crisis".

The Topic? How to be happy and married. No, not how to be happily married. How to be happy and married.

I used to think that since I found a wonderful husband, a man who actually cares about the health of our relationship, who is willing to do everything it takes to make it work, a man whose first priority is the emotional satisfaction and well being of our family, that we would never have to struggle with this topic. I used to think that being with Brian would be enough to make me be a happy person, and that I would make him happy in return. However, the reality of where we are in life, the gravity of the responsibilities, the ordering of priorities, the routine of our days which have been established for us; those things that we cannot change if we want stability and security for our children, they have started to inch out youthful energy and happiness. A friend of mine called it the "loss of possibility", a mourning for the road not taken, those intersections in life that we will probably not cross again for a very long time, if ever.

When I first found out I was pregnant with Aimee, I asked several women that I admire what was the key to being a happy mother. All of them said that the key was to have a life (or interests) outside of the home. That answer seemed contradictory to me. To be a happy mother, you have to do things that are not mom related? Now it makes perfect sense. That answer can apply to any life situation really. To be a happy executive, you have to have interests outside of work. To be a happy retiree, you have to have activities besides being retired.

The challenge is in making the time and in creating the energy to do one more thing when it seems impossible to do that, it is making the effort to reach out to friends and coming up with topics of conversation that don't include what is going in with your kids or home or job or whatever consumes 99% of your time. Creating new experiences, visiting new places, getting to know new people; those are the things that help keep your individual self alive.

Am I unhappy? No. However, there are areas of my life that I am not satisfied with. I know what they are. I am doing something about it. It would be easier to just accept my situation as permanent and it takes energy to make changes happen, but making those changes creates an excitement in me for the possibilities that I am creating. Seeing those changes having an effect energizes me to continue.

Keeping a sense of individuality, nurturing a growing spiritual and thought life, growing in love and respect for my husband, working toward a tangible personal goal, watching in wonder as my children begin to do things like smile or speak in complete sentences; those are my lifelines to happiness.

I'm lucky to have a great husband, but I see that being a great ME is just as important.

Do you have any words of wisdom? What makes you happy? Feel free to share in the comments section.