Character

The theme of being a woman of good character has come up for me quite a lot lately. It started on Sunday, when I attended a meeting at church. There was a short talk about building community and the focus was about how what we say can either build up or destroy community and the individuals in it. Here were some of the points that I've really reflected on a lot this week (not in order).

• When we complain to others--about other people, how decisions are made in a group, what a jerk someone is, whatever-- we take the focus off of praying, which is what we should be doing when something is going wrong. We vent, feel better, and forget about including God in the conversation.
• When we complain instead of pray, we end up coming up with our own bright ideas, instead of opening ourselves up to what God may have for us to do...which he would have revealed if we weren't so bent on venting instead!
• When we talk smack, it effects the morale of the community. People lose confidence in the leaders. We, without realizing it, start our own "factions". People take sides instead of humbly putting aside our own egos to come up with a solution for the greater good.
• Complainers (smack-talkers) end up getting bad reputations. SO TRUE!

The point wasn't to ignore problems, but to not uselessly complain. That problems need to be discussed in a spirit of wanting to fix them according to God's way and not our own.

This study really made me reflect on myself. Not that I have any huge problems with anyone, but sometimes I just love to fall into the temptation to just have a good talk smack-a-thon.

Later that week. I was driving in the car listening to Christian Radio (which I admit I hardly ever do) and there was a lady talking about how women spend so much time presenting an image to the world. The image is projected in how we decorate our homes, dress, act in public, ect. and how that image can be torn down in seconds by saying something harsh or unkind. The speaker talked about how we can focus so much on impressing the outside world, but we neglect to care about what our own families think of us.

Ever since I had my first apartment, I decided that no matter where I lived, I was the only person that would create the atmosphere I would live in. If I walked into my place and it felt like a crappy place to be, it was my fault. I've always focused on having a comfortable and loving home, where guests could feel at rest and my family and I would find refuge. This radio person's talk reminded me of that commitment that I made to myself. She also gave some good suggestions for how to be a woman of Godly character.

• Don't engage in any unkind talk about others, if someone is saying unkind things about someone else, think of a positive thing about that person and share it (You have to mean it too!).
• Focus on building up the members of your family instead of tearing them down. Don't EVER say anything negative about your family members in public, but also remember that what you say and do in private matters most.
• Meaningfully compliment often. Be genuine. Fakers are obvious and unlikeable.

I want to be a Godly woman, so I'm going to learn to shut up sometimes. Stop complaining, and start to see God's image in people, even the ones I sometimes like to talk smack about!