Ok. It's time to tell the truth. I broke my "no spanking" rule. It happened a few weeks ago when Aimee was REALLY misbehaving and I already had her in time out. Daniel was finally asleep and she was SCREAMING her head off in a tantrum. I told her that if she screamed again, she'd get a spanking. She stopped screaming, looked me right in the eyes, opened her mouth REALLY wide, and let one out that shook the entire house and woke up her baby brother. I walked back in to her room, turned her around, and gave her two good wacks on her pampered butt. I then explained to her that what I just did is called a spanking and that she would get another one if she did that again. Just to test out what I had just told her, she screamed again, so I reluctantly spanked her again. That was the end of the screaming. This happened several weeks ago and she hadn't received any spankings since then.
Today, the same scenario played out, but THIS time, all I had to do was threaten to spank before she immediately stopped screaming and layed down to take her nap. She must have wanted to see if I'd remember what spanking was, because as soon as I walked out of her room and closed the door she let out a big scream. I walked back in. She immediately tightend her buns and tried scooting away from me (she was laying down). Again, I turned her around and firmly, not angrily, spanked her. I told her that if she did it again, I'd have to spank her again. I walked out of the room a second time and she let out a little scream, I reasoned to myself that it wasn't an intentional scream, rather, a loud cry. Then silence and another big scream. Again, another firm spanking, she became quiet, and immediately went to sleep.
I had a very difficult few days with her last week that didn't include any spankings, but did include her first self given hair cut (right on top of her head), lots of BIG messes, and more than a few afternoons waiting for Brian to walk in the door. I decided to really pray a lot this week and to be a lot more strict. I know she is testing me, and I need to respond to her testing by showing her that I am going to be consistent. As much as I HATED how strict my mom was when I was little, I was always comforted by it as well.
So there. I've come clean.
6 comments:
Although getting spanked wasn't fun for us, there is a difference b/t acting out of discipline and acting out of anger.
If you get super pissed at her misbehavior and take it out on Aimee by spanking, that is when you should feel bad. It's counterproductive and teaches her that spankings happen when she tests you/misbehaves to that extreme point, AND when you lose your cool.
BUT knowing how much you hate to do it should help you keep from constantly resorting to the spank.
mom spanked me a few times. i turned out all right. she scares me more than anything...even though she cant spank me anymore.
i just ask that you never ever spank her in front of her friends. thats so humiliating..a few of my friends parents spanked them in front of me and i was so embarrased for them...and then later on i thought that was so tacky of the parent.
I think it's cute that you thought people were tacky even when you were little.
Liz, I only spanked Robin once, and I felt worse than she did. She had to know her limits and everything I'd tried failed. She grew up fine and I'm glad that I never spanked her again...but there were times I'd wanted to.
ay cousin. so u are serious? that was her 1st spanking EVER? dang, we have spanked Angel on more than 1 ocassion, so i was pretty surprised to read this posting. dont get me wrong: yes, I feel bad (so does Eggie) afterwards but he gets a warning several times & if he prefers to laugh them off this is the consequence. and he's doing great, thank God. he can count to ten by himself & is quite the smart little guy. just "travieso".
I used to say I would never spank, and I ended up using spanking with 2 of my 3 daughters....and this is because discipline is about the kid--what works for them. If something works better than spanking, its preferable, but if spanking works it works. The key is to be calm, use it sparingly, and explain why you did it. Also, something I learned, make sure you do it hard enough to make it count---im NOT saying hit the crap out of them, Im just saying that I was so scared to actually spank after saying I never would that I was TOO hesitant....it is SUPPOSED to hurt, so make sure its hard enough to make her not want it again. Essentially though, parenting is all about what helps the kid....so as long as you always make sure you truly act with her interests in mind, you should never feel bad.
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