Like Joan Collins in Dynasty...

People often say that Aimee must be so spoiled. The truth is that I don't deny her many things because she rarely wants anything that is bad. When she does, I try to use distraction. She wants to eat a whole tub of Animal Crackers? I give her an orange instead. She wants to watch The Wiggles for the third time? I invite her upstairs to play in her room. She doesn't want to eat her carrots? Fine. She can have some blueberries. A friend of mine has been a professional nanny for years and she taught me this trick. Aimee is, however, very familiar with the word "no". It was one of her first words and she uses it often with our Dog, our Inlaws pets, the baby I babysit, and even her baby dolls. She understands that "no" means "Don't do that!", and she listens 98% of the time, keeping me from hardly ever having to dicipline.

Now let's talk about the other 2%, that just surfaced this week. It seems that my little angel inherited my temper. She has started to hit. I am blaming it on her genes because we have NEVER hit in our house...throwing pots and pans? Yes, only before she was born and I only did that once. We don't watch television, much less let HER watch anything that isn't tagged "Developmental or Musical". Every book I've read says it's normal. Toddlers don't have filters. They get frustrated and don't know how to express their anger, frustration, tiredness, hunger, whatever. However, I've sat in enough of Rey Moran's annual pre-summer talks at the church, to know that children develop their character before the age of 4. If they are rotten in pre-school, they'll be rotten when they are in highschool...if they even make it that far.

Rey Moran, excuse me, I mean Lieutenant Reyes Moran, Jr. who worked with the elite anti-gangs unit for the Chicago Police Department, also a respected elder of the church I grew up in, would take the pulpit once a year, right before summer to talk to the parents about crime. His talks always included these highlights....

"Parents! Teach your children when they are young. If you don't raise them up in the ways of the Lord, and if they don't respect you by the time they turn 4 yrs old, you will lose them! In ten years, I will come to your door to tell you that they are doing drugs, hanging out with gangs, or maybe even to arrest them! And kids, don't think that knowing me will get you out of trouble! You are wrong! Don't you use my name! Because every police officer out there knows that I would arrest my own mother! Parents! Summer time is coming. Keep your kids off the streets, even if they are well behaved you don't want them to be in the wrong place at the wrong time! Keep them involved in church, teach them when they are young, and I won't have to visit you!"

His most famous and memorable talk was the one about the new drug "Extasis" That was the talk where he was interviewed by a local Spanish News program. We'll never forget that one.

So that's the record that plays in my head when my little girl gets out of control. I know some people are thinking, "Oh HELL NO! I will BEAT MY KID'S BEHIND!" But I refuse to teach her that hitting is wrong by hitting her. I much prefer to learn my inlaw's method of dicipline, where the mere thought of receiving the unknown punishment was terrifying enough to earn Brian and his brother, Paul the title of 'Best Behaved Kids Ever in the History of Glendale Heights." My inlaws didn't gave them specifics about what a punishment could be, but the imagination of a boy is very vivid and enough to give Brian anxiety that he still deals with to this day.

So over the past few days, when Aimee has gotten out of control, I go up to her, kneel down, grab her arms, look at her in the eyes and in a low but calm voice tell her "No HITTING." The first time, she looked at me with hurt feelings and let out a cry that broke my heart. The second time, she was prepared. Her response was to slap me right across the face. She did it with such confidence and precision that I wondered if she'd ever spent time watching Spanish Novellas or Dynasty. After the shock wore off, into her crib she went. "You are in TIME OUT for HITTING! We do not hit! Time OUT Young Lady!" I took out her blankie, her doggie, and left the door open to let her know that it was NOT nap time, but punishment time. Time out seemed to work. I left her in there long enough for her to calm down, and when I got her out I explained again why she was in time out and told her to not hit. She gave me a hug and went on playing as if nothing ever happened.

I'm really hoping that she's a fast learner and that it's a phase. Good advice would be much appreciated.